God is always listening

Yes, this...
Me: Okay, God, here's the thing. I'm scared. I'm trying not to be, but I am.
God: I know. Want to talk about it?
Me: Do we need to? I mean, you already know.
God: Let's talk about it anyway... We've done this before.
Me: I know, I just feel like I should be bigger or stronger or something by now.
God: *waiting patiently, unhurried, undistracted, never annoyed.
Me: Okay. So, I'm afraid I'll do everything I can to protect my family and it won't be enough. I'm afraid of someone I love dying. I'm afraid the world won't go back to what it was before. I'm afraid my life is always going to feel a little bit unsettled.
God: Anything else?
Me: EVERYTHING ELSE.
God: Remember how your daughter woke up the other night and came running down the hall to your bedroom?
Me: Yes.
God: You were still awake, so when you heard her running, you started calling out to her before she even got to you... remember? Do you remember what you called out to her?
Me: I said, "You're okay! You're okay! You're okay! I'm here."
God: Why did you call to her? Why didn't you just wait for her to get to your room?
Me: Because I wanted her to know that I was awake, and I heard her, and she didn't have to be afraid until she reached the end of the dark hallway.
God: Exactly. I hear you, my child. I hear your thoughts racing like feet down the dark hallway. There's another side to all of this. I'm there already. I've seen the end of it. And I want you to know right here as you walk through it all, you're okay. I haven't gone to sleep, and I won't.
Me: *crying. Can we sit together awhile? Can we just sit here a minute before I go back to facing it all?
God: There's nothing I'd love more.
Amen...
(Copied and comforted)❤❤❤❤❤❤

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Jeanne likes this comment
I love this, Jeanne. Thanks for posting. I hope to chat with you in the next day or two. Love you, my friend.
Jeanne likes this comment
I'm here, working from home...
Thank you for that. Both my inner child and my adult thoughts can run quite wildly scared these days. It is difficult to take the discomfort, the uncertainty, and the living just day to day without knowing. Any comfort is helpful. Stay safe and well
Jeanne likes this comment
Very, very, ...well done! ❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏👍💪
Jeanne, Danean like this comment
Hi Jeanne! 😘.
Jeanne likes this comment
Hi Marcia!
So what if I'm sorta pissed off at god? These things rub me the wrong way but I'm happy that you find solace.
Cleo likes this comment
Thom, sorry you are pissed off at god right now, I've been pissed off at him a few times, but he has been there for me whenever I'm ready to not be pissed
Danean, Thom like this comment
It’s alright to be pissed off at God. You are still acknowledging Him. That’s what He wants!! My God is the only thing keeping me going. The world sure doesn’t do it. He had taken care of me for a long time and will not ever quit taking care of me. Much love and peace!
Thom likes this comment
Love this so much!
Jeanne likes this comment
This reminds me of a book I read called "He and I" by Gabrielle Bossis where she wrote of her conversations with Christ. Someone sent me the book when I got diagnosed and reading a few pages every day during treatment gave me such solace.
Jeanne likes this comment
I just read this Jeanne, and I've needed to read something like this for the past 40 days. How is it that some of us can survive the scourge of cancer, but this damn pandemic scares us more than cancer treatment? Maybe it's because the rest of the world went on as normal when we had our chemo, etc...but this time, the whole world has gone totally crazy in less than two months, and we don't seem to see a bright light at the end of the tunnel. The news is nothing but a constant barrage of how horrible everything is, never, ever a positive like there is a potential cure, or immunization, or vaccine, or immunity, or a way to make it less contagious, or a better chance of survival if contracted? Shortages of masks & cleaners, and excessive worry and depression is rampant. I so pray for some good news, and I need to read your post again, especially as my Mom in the nursing home tested positive for Covid19.
MGBY,
John
John, prayers and thoughts with you and Mom
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Vital Info

Posts

April 14, 2012

San Juan Capistrano, California 92675

November 11, 1958

Cancer Info

Anal Cancer

Squamous Cell Carcinoma

January 25, 2012

Stage 3

Grade 1

Yes

Xeloda

Reassuring friends/family I will be ok

I have unbelievable family/friends

Prayers & Positive thoughts/energy

It's all good if it works

left groin node suspicious

Prayers & Positive thoughts/energy

lots of rest & aloe

sharing with friends and letting them help

April 30, 2012

Thought it was hemroids...tried RX cream/suppositories, even something called rectal rocket

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